Assertiveness profile and scoring
How Assertive Are You?
Do you speak up when something doesn’t sit right?
Can you say “no” without guilt?
Do you stand your ground without steamrolling others?
Assertiveness is the ability to express your needs, boundaries, and opinions—clearly and respectfully. It’s not about being pushy or passive. It’s about balancing your own voice with consideration for others.
This quick self-assessment will help you reflect on where you naturally fall on the assertiveness spectrum—and what that means for your personal and professional relationships.
You can take the “Assertiveness” self-assessment here:
What Is Assertiveness, Really?
True assertiveness means:
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Valuing your own dignity and perspective
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Respecting others’ rights and views
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Choosing when to speak up and when to hold back—with intention, not fear
It’s about being honest without being harsh. Direct without being demanding. Respectful without being submissive.
The Three Communication Styles
Most people fall into one of these three behavioral patterns in conflict or communication:
✅ Assertive
Balances personal needs with the needs of others. Speaks clearly, listens respectfully, and chooses when to prioritize others—and when to prioritize self.
❌ Aggressive
Prioritizes personal needs at the expense of others. Tends to dominate, interrupt, or ignore others’ rights or feelings to achieve their goals.
❌ Non-Assertive (Submissive)
Consistently places others’ needs above their own. Avoids conflict, struggles to say no, and often feels overlooked or taken advantage of.
Signs of Non-Assertive Behavior
If you often:
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Stay silent even when something bothers you
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Avoid asking for what you need
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Struggle to say no without guilt
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Agree to things that go against your preferences
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Let others interrupt or override you
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Hesitate to return faulty items or request better service
…you may be leaning too far into submissiveness.
And while you might believe you’re “keeping the peace,” the long-term effect is often frustration, burnout, or feeling unappreciated.
What Holds Us Back From Being Assertive?
Here are some common (and very human) reasons people struggle to speak up:
Fear of upsetting others
“If I ask for what I want, they’ll be disappointed—or angry.”
But real relationships can withstand reasonable boundaries.
Fear of rejection
“If I say no, they’ll withdraw from me.”
Assertiveness isn’t rejection. It’s clarity.
Feeling responsible for others’ feelings
You’re not responsible for how others feel about your truth—only for how you deliver it.
Old internal scripts
Rules learned in childhood—like “don’t talk back,” “be nice,” or “don’t make waves”—can linger into adulthood and limit assertive behavior.
Becoming assertive means replacing those old scripts with new, intentional choices.
